You said it would never happen to you. I said it would never happen to me.
I’m here to tell ya’ folks.
We’re all fucked…
Momma Ego’s
dead & there’s nothing that can be done about it.
Yeah,
yeah, the joys of being breast fed aside, I loved my Mom like crazy.
She was the best. I got lucky. She was the coolest Mom ever!
She always told me growing up that she didn’t mind if I drank or
smoked dope, just do it at home where my friends & I could be safe.
My parents partied when I was a kid. I didn’t party with them
until I moved out. I had a TON of fun with her & certainly made up for
lost time!
Her favorite quotation was from Janis Joplin,
“Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.”
God bless Hippy Chicks!!
Top that you say?
Sure. Mrs. Ego’s Momma is gone also.
She died
in a car accident. (Sorry no pictures you freaks.)
Granny-B
was an amazing lady. She built houses for sport. She had 10- of them
under her belt & was working on another.
She did the work
of 50- people. She needed drugs, man.
Yeah,
Mrs. Ego & I are now Motherless Children. That blows.
What really blows is that we’re too young to be having our folks kick off
like this. There’s supposed to be a bunch more Life for them to enjoy.
(OH FUCK!! MAYBE NOT!! Who said we’re guaranteed our next
breath? I’ll get back to you on that one…)
My friends here have been keeping me company. We spend a lot of time
together now that Life has been pummeling my ass without the courtesy of a
kiss or lube of any kind. Bitch.
You gasp as you spot the
Mortal Sin of Beer Drinking. You yell, “What the fuck is that Corona
doing there?”
Take it easy my friend.
Though that Yuppie Gringo beer is tainted & evil, it does have its
place in my house. (Only because somebody brought it & left it!!
:-0 )
What do we do with the yellow colored swill, you ask?
We muster the courage to drink the contents of the neck. We
then refill it with vodka.
A quick swirl & you have
yourself Liquid Stupidity.
Drink a handful of those suckers
& you'll be amazed at how well you can speak Chumash. (I
learned this way to tolerate Corona from my recovering alcoholic mailman.
I miss that guy!)
The yellow UCLA cup holds our world famous
Long Island Ice Tea. You see the majority of the ingredients there.
My other
pals have been working overtime helping to get me straightened out.
With a prescription from Dr. Cannabis, I fill my meds at the local
dispensary.
Thank Buddha for The Bud!!
It
hasn’t been all bad.
We did a track day at California Speedway
on the “Roval”.
Check out this video of
some dude lapping the same course.
I had a blast playing grab-ass with Evo’s, ‘Vettes, Beemers, Mercedes,
Porsches. The Chrysler 300’s & Magnums were amazing. THEY’RE
HUUUGE!!
I even had a Ferrari in my run group!
I
should have been in a different group with more advanced drivers. I lacked
the car with big enough balls to play with those guys so I got mixed in
with folks who had $$HP & not that great of skill.
The
whole day was great!! Especially when the $$HP cars had to pull over &
let me pass on the interior part of the course.
That ‘Vette
Dude in the video had a lap time of 1:52. In comparison, my fastest was
2:19.
On the interior, I did the same corner speeds he did.
My problem wasn’t trying to handle 500+ horses on the exits like he did; it
was carrying enough momentum to not get smoked on those short straights.
I killed me my fair share of expensive $$HP that day. Fuck
yeah!!
But when it came to pedal-to-the-metal time around the
oval, I was toast.
My beast is speed limited to 113- mph. I
get there just about the start of turn 1-. Cars in my group were in the
mid 120’s by then.
All of the big $$HP cars loved dropping me like a bad habit on the big part
of the track. I enjoyed getting by them in the turns. It drove them nuts
having to let by a car that’s barely worth what a set of tires costs for
their beasts!!
My in car video of the day was completely blown
out. I screwed up the exposure setting & all you see is white out of
the front windshield not me on the ass of a Porsche GT3 as he tries to
shake me off his tail.
Sorry for that. Here’s something to
help ease the pain…
You sick fucks like that kinda shit, huh?
How about this?
Two of my favorite things. Beer.
Who said it doesn’t snow
in SoCal.
I’m on my way to Bakersfield for the funeral of my
1st ex-wife’s Sister who just died of cancer. She was young also.
The hits just keep coming…
It rains in SoCal too.
Kitty at least has the brains to stay dry.
He also sets a great
example for me to chill. (Sometimes the drugs aren’t enough.)
Watching him reminds me that Life is to be enjoyed & live in the moment
sometimes.
I’m jealous of his napping skills. What a pro!
His
ability to lick his own dick makes me envious as well...
Remember, it’s not
gay if the balls don’t touch!
For those of you who still have
your Mommas around, give her a big hug, a kiss, & tell her that you
love her. (Give her a wet one for me!)
You never know
when she’ll be gone & then there’s nothing you can do about it.
b0g on all you depraved fucks!! :-0
posted by Ralphs_Alter_Ego on Wednesday 13th February 2008, 16:34:03
My sympathies Ralph.
Life's a bitch, but no parent should survive their children. Watching
them leave this world (and I already saw one of mine) is part of their
accomplishments in life.
Grow fond with their memory, get stoned, honour them and make your life
worthy so that Ralph Jr can write on b0g 9.0 how cool his father was.
And post pix of course.
Trizzle (81.83.165.*) on Wednesday 13th February 2008, 16:59:19 (#61957)
3 (3)
Sorry to hear your moms died I can't imagine how I would feel.
Kudos for the very nice assorted chocolates box you have there, I put my
stash in a lunchbox that has a picture of a cat and dog snuggling!
Also I think I'm the only belgian that has all Janis Joplin vinyls,
impressive huh?
Well it looks like she was cool and a b0gger in her heart, you're
lucky dude, not everyone has parents like that (my mom's a peasant
cunt). She had a good life, that's all that counts. Cheerio! Smoke a
stack for me!
RAE, I'm glad you had such a great mom, I'm glad you have good
memories of her. Remember her with love and honor her by living fully the
life she gave to you.
Man... i can't even begin to empathize with what you are going through
or even come close to what the hell that must feel like... and quite
frankly I don't wanna' know first hand. Like you said though...
eventually something's gonna happen.
Damn dude... have a cry when you feel like it... nobody loves you like
your mom!
Hey buddy I know what you are going through, I lost my Dad nearly 6 years
ago to a shitty workplace accident and he was the best person, he would do
anything for anyone of us. I took it for granted. I guess the saying
'ýou don't know what you have till you've lost it' is
really true. I still dwell on the fact that I spoke to him really bad
before he died hey. I wish I had a chance to party with him. But keep the
friends and family in close contact, they will make a difference. Heads up
mate, it will take ages but we will get there :) I listen to the song by
Evanescence- My Immortal to have a good cry, it's good to cry.
Purv on Thursday 14th February 2008, 04:04:52 (#61991)
It sounds like you've been lucky having a wonderful mom. You've
got allot of good memories to cherish. My sympathies to you and the rest
of the family.
Hello? HELLO? HEELLLLOOOOOO!!!!
