I'm having some cocktails, so I thought I'd share some jokes
and, of course, some unrelated porn
A woman was sitting at the end of the bar watching TV, when a strange man
walks up to her and says,
"Do you know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to take
you in the back room... I'm going to rip all your clothes off...
I'm going to tip you upside down and fill your cunt up with tequila...
I'm going to drink it all down, then I'm going to fuck the shit
out of you!"
The woman starts to panic, then runs into the other room where her husband
is shooting pool. She cries,
"HONEY!! Some man says he's going to rip all my clothes off,
he's going to tip me upside down, he's going to fill my pussy up
with tequila, he's going to drink it all down, then he's going to
fuck the shit out of me!!!"
The husband just stands there staring.
The woman cries, "Aren't you going to do anything?!?"
The husband pauses for a bit, then says "Nope... I ain't going to
fuck with any man who can drink THAT much tequila"
Two guys are drinking in a bar. One of them goes to lift his glass for a
sip, but instead throws up all over himself.
"Oh god, now my wife is going to kill me!", he says.
His buddy pipes in, "No, Joe, listen to me. Put a twenty dollar bill
in your shirt pocket. Tell your wife some drunk guy threw up on you, and he
felt so bad about it, he gave you twenty dollars for the dry
cleaners!"
Joe says, "Wow, that's brilliant!", and they both keep
drinking.
Three hours later, Joe returns home, and upon seeing him his wife says,
"Why you rotten son of a bitch!"
Joe slurs, "Why, what'ssss wrong??"
His wife screams, "What's WRONG?? You can hardly stand up,
you're slurring your speech, and you threw up all over
yourself!!"
Joe replies, "No honey, listen! Some drunk guy threw up on me, and he
felt so bad about it, he gave me twenty dollars for the dry
cleaning!"
His wife reaches in his shirt pocket and pulls out 40 dollars. She says,
"Wait a minute, why is there 40 dollars here??"
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot", Joe says... "he shit in my
pants, too..."
What do Michael Jackson and chewing tobacco have in common?
They both come in little cans.
The first limerick I ever wrote:
Young Harry was desperate for skin,
Saw a whorehouse, and so he went in,
He paid her the fee,
Then picked up V.D.,
He'll never try THAT one again!
Hell with it, just two more unrelated... hope you liked the jokes!
posted by TastyPanties on Saturday 19th April 2008, 19:49:26
Panties, a weird kind of dude
Writes poems so silly and rude
Makes fun of your brother,
your sister, your mother!
The things that he says are just lewd.
Your sessions at The Clinic are coming along nicely. We look
forward to your continued success!
Remember the Seed
Thought you chose: Visualize femme as the bully in 3rd grade that
you said hated you. The one you sucked his dick for a quarter at
recess.
Or maybe we should work on another Aversion
Scenario to help with your condition.
Either way,
don't forget your follow-up session with Dr. Bob. It's
minor surgery; you'll be able to drive yourself home.
Some of my favorite jokes
