I was strolling down Brewer St. in Soho (London, UK) this afternoon looking
for a fairly hooker-free space to do a J when this emo looking cunt with
pink hair and a silver ring stuck in her big fucking hooter came up to me
asking for directions to Soho Sq. I said, kindly but firmly, "Je ne
comprends pas" trying to sound as native-French as possible and the
minger of a female started yelling at me. "You fucking frog, I hope
you fucking die", "All you fucking foreigners should die a
painful death". "Is there a point at which you shut the fuck up
and just relax?" I asked. "You speak English now?".
"Well, I speak it when I have to" I replied, and lit the J.
"Can I have a toke on that?" 'it' asked. "Sure,
after you have shaved your head and taken that piece of stainless steel out
of your hooter" I said. "Fuck you, you cunt. I look just the way
I want to!" 'it' groaned. "I understand that is where
your nasty attitude stems from. Actually, you can fucking have it." I
said and handed the J over to the beast. It puffed a heavy toke and started
coughing, and just as I turned and started walking towards Picadilly I
heard a slump and a weird moan behind me. I looked back and saw the thing
lying on the sidewalk with its head resting on the kerb, some claret was
involved. "Fucking hell" I said, "Is it still alive?",
seconds later I was running down Shaftesbury Ave. chased by about 5 emo
kids shouting things like: "You killed her you fuck!",
"We're gonna fuck you up". Luckily, I managed to punch my
way through the crowd and run away. And all I wanted was to do a J and have
my peepee sucked by a Czech hookie I met at The Crown the other day. Ye
fucking gods, no more Sunday afternoons like this. Thank you, please.
P.S.
I suggest you chinas have a butcher's at the Finnish tart behind the
bar at The Crown. Tasty bristols.
Ta da
posted by meerko on Sunday 5th June 2005, 15:08:04
claret is reletive nice type of red wine - ill ate his liver with some
farva beans and a glass of claret. it is also used to mean BLOOD in
london slang. <3.
Ye gods
